THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP (AND EMBRACING CLARITY)

By Hans Ebert
Visit Hans-Ebert.com

Friendship is such a very special thing. Real friendship. Not the ships passing in the night kind. Not the “I’ll always be there for you, bro” kind. And then disappear on “bro” only to return whenever it’s convenient. To unload. Download. All kinds of crazy stuff. Where you’re “bro” and “brother” and “dude” and a “real friend.”

Forget about those one only meets in the online world. Extremely rarely do they ever become anything more than mental clutter.

No, it’s those one has bailed out. Time and again. Forgiven too many times. Those sanctimonious and hypocritical well, pricks who pontificate about how no one knows you better than them. Please. Most are users, abusers and two time losers. But it’s all part of life lessons.

Don’t respect friendship and it’s akin to a man abusing a woman. Emotionally and physically. At least in these books it is. It’s about mutual respect. Being there for each other. Without being asked.

This thinking about friendship- really examining it and turning it inside out and on its head- has been part of an ongoing internalisation process. It started when being cheated by someone who was seen as a longtime friend. And over what? A horse. Should have seen it coming. That it was a “donation”. Another one. For the other party, it was a win win situation. But he lost a friend along the way. A real friend. And now what?

Over the past few months, others have shown their true colours. In their ingratitude. Selfishness. Their self serving agendas.

This is when someone wakes you up from The Big Sleep and makes you smell the difference between fact and Pictionary.

My ex wife would always see through things. And people. Alarm bells would go off when she saw what happening. To me. And see right through the shuck and jive hucksters. It was there on my credit card bills. It was there in how easily led people can be. Like I was. How priorities disappear into some abyss where one embraces Shylocks. And a coven of witches. Exorcise them. But never ever forget.

The other day, a jockey friend had an accident. Accidents are never just accidents. It’s different to being Dustin Hoffman and that Accidental Tourist. It’s life changing stuff. It affects family. It changes everything.

The future needs to be looked at again. Maybe this will lead to a better future. But the lack of support he and his family have received made me think about myself. And who I am with. About those who really matter. And those who don’t.

When this becomes clear, the clutter disappears. Clarity is a wonderful thing. But never forget those who let you down. Ever.

#friendship #betrayal #loyalty #love

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